Sapphire

Rape myths

'Most rapists are strangers' - FALSE
When most people think about how rapes occur, they imagine desolate dark alleyways late at night and the attacker being a stranger. The truth is the majority of people who commit rape do know their victims and in some cases are relations, friends or work colleagues.

'Men cannot be sexually assaulted' - FALSE
Assault by penetration - a person commits assault by penetration if he intentionally penetrates the vagina or anus of another person with a part of the body or anything else, without their consent.

'She/he was raped because of the way they were dancing and the way they were dressed' - FALSE
Anyone should not feel that they are to blame because of the way they were dressed or the way they were dancing. Our main concern is that the crime is reported and that you receive the specialist care you deserve. Nobody will judge you.

'Male rape is a gay crime' - FALSE
Sexual assault is ultimately about power, control or domination of the other person, rather than a sexual attraction to one specific gender.

'All rape victims have injuries' - FALSE
All rape victims’ experiences are different. The scars may be emotional or physical. Whatever the case all rape and sexual assault are treated seriously by the police and the victim will be treated according to their specific needs.

'A rape victim always needs to say NO to show they don't consent' - FALSE
There is a presumption that all rape victims need to say the word 'no' to state that they do not consent to sex. The reality is that some victims will 'freeze' during an attack. This is sometimes due to shock or fear of the attacker. The police will always consider these factors or anything else that prevented the victim in saying 'no'.

'My friend was raped, but I feel helpless because I can't report it' - FALSE
If someone you know has been raped, you can report it to the police. They will log the incident and approach the victim themselves. Third party reporting is particularly effective if the victim does not feel comfortable in speaking to the police initially or if there is a language barrier. In addition you can make a report anonymously if you wish. This will help the police in building up intelligence.

'The police won't believe me' - FALSE
The police take ALL rape and sexual assault reports seriously. No matter who you are, how long ago the assault happened, or how it took place, the police are committed to listening, understanding and helping through this difficult time whilst ALWAYS listening to and respecting your wishes.

'Rape cannot happen between husband and wife' - FALSE
Rape within marriage and relationships whether straight or gay do occur. If your partner, husband or wife has forced you into having sex with them, The Havens and our SOIT officers will treat the matter as seriously as with all other rapes and sexual assaults.

'You can only report rape to the police' - FALSE
You can report rape at The Havens, without having to speak to police however, they will approach the police if you want them to. In addition you can seek advise from charities and organisations who will advise you and discuss what kind of help is available to you.